Hey babies, I’m back.

Durante un año dormí sobre un colchón en el suelo. Todo es cuestión de perspectiva.

 

En blanco, en blanco, todo el día en blanco, pero con todo negro, al revés. Bonito, pero caótico. ¿Sabéis qué tiene el caos? Que es justo. Y además parece que me hace justicia últimamente. De un lado para otro, corriendo, todo el día corriendo, podría decirse que huyendo, huyendo.

Las guardias, las prisas, las revistas insulsas que te nombran y te despedazan en trocitos de imágenes como si te conocieran, como si olieran tus entrañas. Los coches, las prisas. El sexo desenfrenado entre las sábanas limpias a la hora de cenar porque no nos queda otra, las prisas, el aire caliente, el calor de mis piernas entre las tuyas. Los horrores de la superficialidad, los anuncios, las noticias caídas del cielo poco interesantes y martilleantes, los pactos, los negocios sucios entre los que discurre nuestra vida. El odio hacia los indiferentes. Las prisas. Los whatsapps, telegrams, mensajes, hilos, conexiones, las prisas. Vomitar sentimientos entre palabras. Describir el terror, verlo en una película con demasiado presupuesto pero vacía de contenido. Llorar por el arte que no se valora, por la cultura que perdemos entre escombros publicitarios.

La gente, los cuerpos que sufren, las horas entre luces LED que te destrozan la vista mientras intentas salvar lo poco que le queda a esa persona para seguir viviendo una vida que le están robando otros, mantener a flote a la gente, pero evitar acercarte mucho porque empatizas y en eso también afectan los recortes. No quedan camas libres ni plantas abiertas ni dignidad en los hospitales. Apenas quedan fuerzas para luchar, pero se sigue.

Las bodas, los gritos, los llantos, los vestidos, la cantidad de información inventada para que la rueda siga girando. Los cumpleaños, los entierros, nuestra falta de capacidad de afrontar la muerte, la parte de la vida. Las prisas.

Hacer yoga, desprenderse, encontrarse en los otros, en las otras, tener sueños eróticos prohibidos mientras te dicen cómo amar, cómo amarte y tocarte, echar de menos, echar de menos de verdad, con el hígado.

Reencontrarte, escribirlo, vomitarlo todo. Esperar que la gente te entienda, que (¿no?) te juzgue, pero disfrutar sabiendo las incongruencias que producen tus palabras en sus mentes, en sus esquemas, y sonreír. Volver.

472 thoughts on “Hey babies, I’m back.

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